Undoubtedly one of the most frightening in-flight culinary experiences I've endured to date, tonight's flight on board Royal Jordanian's ‘Crown Class' business class already started off poorly, with me unable to find time for the all-essential pre-flight Gin & Tonic in the lounge.
Let's check the details on this journey, before we get going;
Airline: Royal Jordanian RJ181
Route: Kuala Lumpur – Bangkok (Approx. 2 hours)
Class: Business (or, ‘Crown Class')
I'd love to say that this meal began with any level of finesse or sophistication, but it didn't at all; it began instead with a hurried dressing of the table (which incidentally, had to be hurried, because there were more layers of linen placed on the table than I'm sure the table was built to withstand) and then this gastronomical aberration was plonked down on top of it.
I was invited to sample local Jordanian wine, to which, looking regrettably at the plate of random edibles, I wholeheartedly accepted but alas; much like when you're a teenager in Ireland growing up and your parents only serve you a wine or two after dinner to make sure you don't fall off your chair drinking on an empty stomach, the wine never materialised until well after the meal had been completed – lest I start swinging from the overhead bins.
First impressions of course were truly terrifying; what appeared to be a medley of genetically engineered tomatoes; some kind of cold prawn dish sitting on a soggy sponge-like blini of sorts; and then of course who can ignore the random lunchmeat, artfully decorated with two slivers of red pepper and some gherkins.
Not to worry, by now the wine had been presented – well, I use ‘presented' in the vaguest of senses, since it was actually deposited unceremoniously on my tray table. I wouldn't lie to you – especially not in my first post – I actually, despite pretending the opposite whenever I'm in social company, really don't know much or have any kind of appreciation for wine; but this was like boxed value wine.
And yes, I am basing that off the last time I had carton wine back when I was about 17 and trying to look classy, mature and sophisticated at a party.
Thankfully, however, like all boxed wine, it tasted immeasurably better as our short flight to Bangkok progressed and before long, I was trying to grab a top-up (easier said than done) every time someone passed by.
I know it's a tough break to judge an airline business cabin offering in just 2 hours on a flight that doesn't involve flying to or from their home country, but as I said in my original IG post – which you should follow by the way, if not already – this meal was absolutely perfect only if you happy to enjoy cold seafood and tasteless mystery meat – as well as of course, the opportunity to experience some nostalgic teenage days of drinking carton wine after your meal so as not to get too drunk.
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